get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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