Me. At least after what I've been through.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
