He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
