Sorry, I don't speak sober.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
