People with herpes should wear stickers.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
