Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
