Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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