oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
