She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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