so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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