# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
barbara walters just said penis...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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