I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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