I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
