he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
