Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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