Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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