I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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