Don't you send me to vm
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
