Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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