So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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