butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
