Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
