Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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