I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
