Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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