did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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