i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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