I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
