Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
