So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
