Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
