Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
