So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
