things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
