I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
