ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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