So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
