I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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