I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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