Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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