I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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