omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
