that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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