His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
