Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
