I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
