I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have post one night stand depression
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
