I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
