He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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