Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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