What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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