Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
