Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
